If you’re considering divorce, please don’t ask your friends for advice. Why is this so important? You will soon find that everybody is an expert and wants to give you advice. Your family. Your friends. The people you work with. Your bartender, your hairdresser……
I’m not saying they don’t have good intentions – I have no doubt that they do. These are the people who care about you (ok – maybe your bartender and hairdresser a little less). And nowadays everybody has either gone through a divorce themselves or has a close relative or friend who has. With 1/3 of marriages in Israel ending in divorce, it makes sense. So, rest assured, they’ll be telling you what you should be doing if you’re considering divorce.
- Leave your home to show how dire the situation is. Don’t leave your house because you might lose it in the divorce.
- Take the money out of your savings so he can’t get it. Don’t take all your money out, she could sue you for theft.
- Stay together for your kids. Don’t stay together for the kids.
It can all be very confusing at a time when it’s imperative that you have clarity. So don’t ask your friends for advice. Instead, heed this sound advice form an experienced divorce attorney. Take everything you hear with a grain of salt.
Why? Because, while the emotional upheaval of divorce is a common experience, each couple has their own unique set of circumstances that may not apply to yours – different emotional relationships and different financial details, to name a few.
Who should you be listening to then, when you are considering divorce and you don’t know where to begin?
Even before you think about consulting with an attorney (you may not even need one depending on your situation) you can be educating yourself about the divorce process in Israel. If you search Youtube with your questions you will get a number of very good answers from actual divorce attorneys. For example, if you ask, “Can a divorced parent move with their kids to another country? ” you will find the answer. Or, “What to do when your spouse wants a divorce?”
Even if you decide to get divorced without hiring an attorney you should definitely consult with one.
Only the attorney who represents you (and for purposes of planning your divorce, consulting with an attorney is like having one represent you) is going to be able to give you the best advice, taking into account any updates or changes in the legal system that could effect your personal situation.
Only the attorney that represents you is not going to be influenced by the emotional baggage that comes with divorce and to help you focus on the relevant facts and issues. Not your best friend who got divorced. Not your mother’s best friend who was there every step of the way when her daughter got divorced. Not anybody else for that matter. So don’t ask your friends for advice.
The legal system in Israel can be a complicated affair with the secular family courts and the Rabbinic courts operating independently. You need an attorney who is comfortable navigating both. So do your research. Learn as much as you can and then choose someone who takes the time to understand you and your unique circumstances and will guide you patiently through your divorce.