Divorce Agreements

When most people get divorced, they are in the middle of a negative emotional whirlwind, and often make poor decisions. A big part of my job when representing my clients, is to convince them not to make these bad decisions.

A "reconciliation or in the alternative" agreement basically says, "We acknowledge that we have problems in our marriage, but we want to work things out - and if things don't work out then we are agreeing in advance on the terms of our divorce."

This is a powerful tool because most people who decide to try to give their marriages another shot realize that they have to be flexible. Many times their prior inflexibility is part of the reason they got so close to divorce in the first place. When the couple is looking to be flexible with one another, and when they are trying to let their loving feelings for each other rule the day rather than their anger, they are able to reach agreements on many things in a much smarter and fairer manner. This includes the terms for what will happen if things don't work out. Then, if they do get divorced a world war three divorce is avoided, and all the collateral damage that goes along with it.

See video explanation here.

In Israel there are a number of agreements that couples are able to enter into with each other. Collectively they are called monetary agreements.

1) A prenuptial agreement is made before a couple gets married. It states what will happen to the assets of the couple if they get divorced in the future. This is the only agreement that can be entered into without going in front of  court.

2) A reconciliation agreement is for a couple who is already married and has issues with one another. They state explicitly how they will continue to live together rather than getting a divorce. They can only do this in front of a judge in either the secular family court or the Rabbinic court.

3) A divorce agreement which is for couples who no longer want to stay married. It outlines all the terms of child custody, support and asset division and can only be entered into in either of the courts.

4)  A peace in the house  agreement which is a combination of  the reconciliation agreement and the divorce agreement and can only be entered into in one of the courts.

See video explanation here.

Your divorce agreement is meant to last a lifetime. If you want to change your divorce agreement and your ex-spouse is willing, then you can go back to mediation to make those changes. But if they are not willing the only way to change it is with the approval of a court (Rabbinic or Family, depending on where it was affirmed).

Sometimes if the circumstances change, (like the spouse paying child support loses their job or the spouse not  taking the kids at the agreed time to allow the other to work) then it's easier to make changes in the courts. It's important to consult with your attorney before you make any changes to your conduct that is dictated by your agreement so as not to jeopardize your standing with the courts.

See video explanation here.